Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Stomping on Thin Ice

So I often find myself in these situations, awkward silence creeps in to fill the void of utter nothingness, I break out a cheesy joke or a movie quote and apparently the weirdness withers. I just realized a few days ago how much I really enjoy breaking comfort zones; perhaps its an issue. It seems to me that a quote about pastors has influenced this non-pastor incredibly, "Pastors exist to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable." I feel like I do a superior job and afflicting comfortable Christians, challenging and rallying the troops of Gods army to action. The downfall, I fell at times that I must be something other than simply obedient, a leader....errrrrrrrrr. I want to be remembered for my character and humor, my ability to lead people to higher heights and deeper depths. The only problem: what does it take to achieve such greatness? A college education, a know-how attitude, an experiential knowledge and inkling for success, I don't think so. I believe that being a godly leader simply requires an acceptance of grace, a disbursement of unselfish love, and a willingness to be transformed for the better of the majority.

I know this seems like random rambling but I think about my leadership capabilities (and/or lack thereof) often. I want to be a great leader amongst my peers, I want to continuously walk above reproach, I desire to stand-out. Not that I wish to be above others, but to have others follow me as I follow Christ would be an honor in highest form.

Being on ASB and being an RA and being on Night Monitor Patrol can be extremely stressful; feeling as if I must be the best at them all, be effective at them all, and leave little room for error. I realized last night that this is a growing process. God is growing me up, mistakes will come and hardships will be endured, I need to stay humble and loving; always compassionate, always caring.

Father help me to walk the path of love and patience and grace; a path i've walked little in my life. I want your heart for people; genuine forgiveness, unselfish love, and constant hope in people.

Psalm 119:9 ,11"How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your Word...For your word I have hidden in my heart that I might not sin against You."

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

A venture to Spokangeles

Once in a galaxy far far away...
cough cough.
Approximately seven hours north of Eugene to be more specific,
there lived a people group,
large in body and often small in brains,
yes...I was refering to Spokane. Get over it!


I had the opportunity to take a weekend off of all my obligations and duties here at Eugene Bible College to go see my family for the first time in over 9 months. Nine Months! Gosh, it had been Christmas of 05' since my family and I had dinner together; a bit depressing to me.

The whole thing came about on Thursday afternoon two weeks ago; I was over at Matt Franke's new apartment just chillin' and eating some grub that his friend Robert cooked us up. It was a taco salad, might delicious I must say. Anyways, moving on, Brian Shoop got home and we talked for a few minutes before he mentioned that he was heading back to Spokane for the weekend to spend some quality time with his baby girl and his family (he didn't say 'baby girl', that was my emphasis) and asked if i'd be interested in joining him. I was like, "Does the pope crap in the woods?" He was like, "Ben, what does that have to do with the temparutre of Jello in Jerusalem?" We stopped it there. I simply responded, "Oh my friggin' gosh heck yeah are you crazy, I haven't seen my family in like, gosh dang, forever!"(Calm response...I know?)

Shoop and I departed from the Eugene Bible College parking lot at approximately noonish in his blazing red hot ninety something Dodge Neon sports car (lol). As we left Eugene I had this feeling of release. I had been hindered from getting back to my family this summer by a plethera of meetings and other obligations (not that those meetings were bad!) and it had a stronghold on me, it sucked. I knew as soon as we passed Wilsonville that I was really going home, I was really going to see my beloved family.

We decided to take a bit of a detour and we stopped off at Multnomah Falls. We bought some coffee, I bought a magnet for my uncle Ray. We spent some time just gazing at the beautiful waterfall and all its glory.

Here are a few pics from that part of the trip...

This waterfall is friggin' huge and when your within about twenty feet; your gettin' wet.

After leaving the falls the shoopster and myself cruised along at about 70 mph and found ourselves in some little ghetto podunk town who's name I dont even remember, what I do remember is that their was a "Burgerville" there; it was fantaboloustic.

This is me enjoying a phatty delicious Dr. Pepper after knockin' down a colossal something? I think it was healthy; I can still feel it lodged between my asophogus and small intestine. Is that weird?

This over here on the left is shoop being suprised by my amazing hidden-camera skills. Mezmorized huh?
The drive through the Columbia River Gorge has always been one of my favorites; it looks like giants sleeping on their sides; so awesome. I can just sit and stare for hours at the beautiful creativity of what God has done there.

This is a window shot; no prof'esyonal' photo work done here...just plain ol' me.

The pic on the right is one of the higher peaks found in the area. I thought it would be cool to climb it; then I hate Niko memories and said, "Heck no fool!"

So us two crazy dudes arrived in Spokane around 8pm and were both excited to get to our respective destinations; my uncle's house and Shoopster to his family's pad.
This is us on the homestretch, "Spokane: home sweet home."

(GQ Style)

When I arrived in town I decided to catch up on old times with my best friend Patrick Malone. We went and did our norm'...Red Robin dinner and then the AMC theatre. I was impressed to hear about how his life has just been progressing with a quickness; he is an extremely intelligent individual who will do great things for the world with his heart for people and his firmness in 'always' doing what's right. I had a monster burger and a shake (lo-carb treat) and he had something I didn't think looked good.
Here is a better pic of him -->

The one on the left reveals a bit of his special side... down boy!
It did not take me very long to realize that being back in Spokane was nice; regardless of the issues of my past and the prob's that still linger around being back in Spocompton.
I have waited patiently for over nine months to see my uncle Ray and aunt Benita; and spent 99% of my weekend surrounded by them. I use to live with my uncle, and he has always been there for me in life. When my father died I lived with him, all the time I was growing up he'd take my sister and I into his semi-truck and let us ride with him to Seattle. It's stuff like that I remember, my uncle's amazing compassion has always stuck in me, just an incredible man. My aunt is the backbone of my family. She has always been the most consistent financially and spiritually. She has continously spent time praying and fasting for my family; that God would move in a mighty way, and He has. My aunt has been the consistancy that I lacked from a mom, she has been a nurturing mother like figure, constant love and support, I love her!

Here are a few pics from my time spent with them. My cousins (twin's) Bob and Brian are also in the pic's, we all grew up together, they are good guys. I think you can figure out who's who.
My cousin Bob-->

This here is Brian

So I don't know what happened to this blog; the formatting got all ghetto; that's why this is all underlined. I am sure I screwed something up.
I pretty much wanted to make it clear that God is amazing and giving me a chance to go see my family was the coolest thing he could have done for me. Our Father loves us, and desires to pour Himself out over us, stuff like this keeps me believign God is good, all the time.


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Actively Waiting (oxymoron)


I have been attempting as of this week to get my devotional life back into the ol' routine. Six a.m. five days a week, you know, the norm. Well, I have to be fully honest and say the devotion I once had to getting up before the sun has seemingly fizzled away. This isn't to say its not coming back; because that's not optional. But those good ol' times of last year when waking up at six was easy, I believe those days are long gone.

I am not stressed about this recent predicament though. In all honesty, I am excited. My habitual French pressing of the coffee and rubbing of the eyes at 5:45 will still be the usual, and I will be happy with it. (Smirk).

I did this summer however discover some new incredible worship music that I am excited to implement into my daily devotionals. A body of believers in Kansas City, Missouri begun a thing called IHOP (International House of Prayer) and it is a 24/7 prayer/worship center that births some absolutely amazing music and prayer. I have been listening to it on the ipod for quite some time and am really excited to see God use it as a tool for growing me up a bit more spiritually this year.

As freaky as it may sound to many; I really want to experience more of the presence of God this year. I don't simply want a doctrine of God, I want an experience of God. I have felt His presence on a multiplicity of occasions; but I am far from satisfied. I want to drool with anticipation for His presence, I really believe that desperately seeking God means daily dying to my own desires, and giving into what He has for me each individual day.

Well, this blog was random but I am just excited about starting up my morning devo' time, trading it for the afternoon routine; difficult trade. I think their is just something symbolic and beautiful about watching the sun rise and drinking some Joe, all the while blasting some praise music. That's the breakfast of champions ladies and gentlemen.

Well, yeah...

Check it out!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Gross ist Unser Gott

Gross ist Unser Gott..."

Wann du kannst Deutsch lesen, probiert mal. Das hier ist sehr schleckt mit grammatik.)

Dieses wochenende war so echt total geile. Ich hatte fur zwei tagen mit meine familie besuchen im Spokane, Washington. Das war wirklich meine erste mal im noin monaten; das war trauig. Ich hatte so viel nicht gesehen, so viel leuten vermisst...

Alles war wichtig neu im meine gemiende, neus leuten, neus musik, neus alles! Ich finde das naturlisch schade , weil ich hatte so viel spass im Deutschland dieses sommer; aber ich hatte viel zeit mit meine familie und kirche freunde nicht gehat.

Ich war im Spokane fur zwei tagen. Sitzen und sprechen mit meine lieblings fruende, meine unkel Ray, er ist die beste! Ganz lustig und er ist alte schule; rauchen und trinken ist ganz normal. Er hatte eine kleines wohnung in die altenleutehaus.

Es war teuer, aber grustig. Das war bilig wann du dinks das veilliecht das war meine latztes mal mit meine unkel.

Danke Gott fur alles du hast im meine leben gemacht. Jeden tag deine lieben ist stimmt, das hilfen ist gut genug, ich hoffe ich will dich nicht vorgessen. Du bist immer eins im meine leben,

Danke fur dieses wochenende, danke fur alles.

Ich liebe dich Jesus.

Deine liebe,