The Paradox Box
Stomping on Thin Ice
So I often find myself in these situations, awkward silence creeps in to fill the void of utter nothingness, I break out a cheesy joke or a movie quote and apparently the weirdness withers. I just realized a few days ago how much I really enjoy breaking comfort zones; perhaps its an issue. It seems to me that a quote about pastors has influenced this non-pastor incredibly, "Pastors exist to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable." I feel like I do a superior job and afflicting comfortable Christians, challenging and rallying the troops of Gods army to action. The downfall, I fell at times that I must be something other than simply obedient, a leader....errrrrrrrrr. I want to be remembered for my character and humor, my ability to lead people to higher heights and deeper depths. The only problem: what does it take to achieve such greatness? A college education, a know-how attitude, an experiential knowledge and inkling for success, I don't think so. I believe that being a godly leader simply requires an acceptance of grace, a disbursement of unselfish love, and a willingness to be transformed for the better of the majority.
I know this seems like random rambling but I think about my leadership capabilities (and/or lack thereof) often. I want to be a great leader amongst my peers, I want to continuously walk above reproach, I desire to stand-out. Not that I wish to be above others, but to have others follow me as I follow Christ would be an honor in highest form.
Being on ASB and being an RA and being on Night Monitor Patrol can be extremely stressful; feeling as if I must be the best at them all, be effective at them all, and leave little room for error. I realized last night that this is a growing process. God is growing me up, mistakes will come and hardships will be endured, I need to stay humble and loving; always compassionate, always caring.
Father help me to walk the path of love and patience and grace; a path i've walked little in my life. I want your heart for people; genuine forgiveness, unselfish love, and constant hope in people.
Psalm 119:9 ,11"How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your Word...For your word I have hidden in my heart that I might not sin against You."
posted by Benny Strength at 10/24/2006 12:58:00 PM
1 Comments:
If I was to tell you that I'm proud of you, would that sound weird? You have taken on a lot, simply because you have been obedient to God's call on your life. He placed you in the leadership positions that you hold because He knows that you are a leader and that you actually affect people. Yes you are held to a higher standard than those who aren't in leadership, and you do need to be careful in what you do and how you say things, but you are still human. Don't beat yourself up when you mess up.
You are really good at what you do, and you don't know how much these guys look up to you. I'm really glad that you took that leap into leadership, because you would have been missed.
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