just do you. at least that's authentic. (pt 1)

In So-Cal it's lifted trucks, muscle v-necks, and tap-out hats. It's "JUICY" sweatpants and fake D & G handbags. It is talking like you've slanged dope since the age of 7; all the while you grew up in Brentwood. It's rockin' roids and walking around the beach with tribal tats and a purple visor. It's many things. One thing it's not? Authentic.

It's not just a California thing. We've all done it. We are all 'guilty as charged.' Whether it's dressing up like cops as a kid, or dressing up like firemen with Ghetto-blasters on our shoulder's as adults (male stripper joke), we've all wanted to be something/someone else. I believe that many of us face that self-actualization stage multiple times in life. The first time is that awkward phase as a kid, the second time is the awkward stage as an adult.


I know that growing up their were so many things I wanted to be; but so few that I pursued. I spent my childhood sitting in front of a TV; just a puddin' pop and a dream. Eyes glued to the tube and my ass glued to a horrifically ugly love-seat; entrapped by the awesomeness of Ricki Lake, Michael Jordan, Bob Ross, and various other 90's legends. I remember the stage in life where I thought I could be an NBA star; I also remember the stage where I chose Rolo's over Rings.

We all have those days in life (or maybe just I do, often, too often) where we wake up and realize we have yet to win a championship for the Chicago Bulls. Heck, some of us have never even been to Chicago. Some of us can't spell it; or find it on a map. I think realizing who we aren't is a massive discovery when trying to establish who we really are. That broad spectrum of options as a kid is slowly narrowed down as we dodge in and out of school and into a career/college/etc. What was once this open book has dwindled down chronologically into a mere pamphlet; some pictures, phrases, and a neat-o slogan.

It's not meant to be depressing, nor is it meant to sadden one, or discourage one. I have found that life is such a vast-agglomeration of experiences and influences, failures and success, trials and triumphs. Each of us has a unique path to pursuit and we do so to the best of our abilities or we end up living our lives out in regret and agony. I don't see very many people living out there dreams downtrodden and filled with sorrow. It's fairly apparent and brutally obvious that we need not follow everyone else, but lead, lead ourselves (with wise counsel, prayer, perseverance) in the continuation of the work that's already been done within us.


For those of you struggling for authenticity but drowning in internal-displacement of being I hope that you can find yourself amidst a world that wants you to discover your 'true' self. All this self-help nonsense about 'being yourself' is only meaningful if you understand what you've come from, where your at, and where your going. Being 'yourself' is a bad thing if that's being a thug, punk, druggie, sex addict, liar, cheater, etc. I desire that you'd not fall into the trap of falsification of self to blend into a world where the lines between right and wrong haven't been merely grayed out; they've been erased. If you stand for nothing in life you'll fall for anything.

This is to be continued...

I'm not done talking about identity :)