laCkadaisical exTremist

Something I've been noticing lately is the amount of extremist has risen in my circle of influence within the past few months. I've realized that perhaps not the extremist you read about in USA Today or see on the O'Reilly Factor; but extremist's in general. For instance, I've got a friend who is an addict for change and turns to extreme measures to subdue those tendencies; regardless of weather it's coffee, call of duty, or attention. An extremist is described by Webster's Dictionary as such; of relating to/or characterized by immoderate or excessive actions, opinions.

I think their are many of us that tend to go militant on certain avenues of our lives to protect ourselves from the unknown. For many, especially American's, over the course of the past few years methods have been developed that allow us to have somewhat-utter control of a multi-faceted lifestyle; all from the palm of your hand. And no, I'm not referring to a gypsy palm reader, I was referencing technological advancements like the iPhone, Blackberry, and the Atari. (ok, not so much the Atari).

This excessive need to control things so thoroughly has led us to waver and terry from the very thought of 'letting-go' of any area of complete control in our lives. A dangerous thought. It seems pretentious to think that we, regardless of our organizational abilities truly have within ourselves the potential to control 'life'. I guess many people think that by investing in low-risk stocks, buying real estate, and pouring money into a 401k that it is somehow going to cushion the drastic blow of reality that will hit when the marriage fails, kids leave, and the job is gone.

What if life does leave you 'out' of control? What happens when things 'aren't' exactly how you planned them? What do you do when you can no longer update Facebook from your iPhone to tell the world of your sorrows? To beg for attention? To plead for a way out? Who are you when your not defined by your successes, but more so, by your failures? Are you being dealt an unfair hand and not willing to finish the game? If so, we stand in the threshold of sorrow and pain together, no one is without questions in those times in life. So, by all means, start asking! Don't ask other people, ask yourself, ask God, ask the question to people who can honestly and accurately answer.

Their aren't a lot of 25 year old's scooting around the food service industry talking about how they've, "arrived..." But, then again, their are a LOT of college grads serving tables in this economy. That is the nice thing about living in the Los Angeles area, everyone serving tables is just waiting for that break into the industry. I can just tell everyone I'm an aspiring actor; even though I'm more of a perspiring redactor. It is a humbling effort to push on day after day, on the grind, doing things your not passionate about. So, I look into my past for some clarity on my current circumstantial state-of-being.

So, my father was drafted into the United States Army at the age of twenty-two. It was the 1960's and life as he knew it was good. He spent his teen years moving all over the country and was an embedded child of the southern way; having moved from Lochapoka, Alabama to Billings, Montana. He was enjoying life as a teenager; doing what teenagers do. That was until he was 'drafted'. For those of you whom don't understand, this means he was 'taken' as property of the United States Military in order to subdue the political turmoil occurring in Vietnam. His younger brother Butch was drafted as well, the baby of the family (Butch being the youngest of 8: 4 boys, 4 girls) was being sent to a place that western society knew very little about.

I don't think my uncle, nor my father, had really planned on life turning out the way it did for them. I doubt they woke up that day in the 60's and were excited about what hand they'd been dealt; but I can tell you that they both willingly accepted the missions and jumped at the opportunity to proudly serve their country. Their was not an ounce of whining, cowardice, or regret in their hearts. They didn't drag their heals in doing good; they dug in their boots instead. They both served multiple tours as infantry men, as Armored Personnel Carriers (APC) drivers.

My dad came home from Vietnam after suffering multiple gunshot wounds, surviving an exploding APC, as well as the immense stress and trauma of watching your friends die beside you. My uncle never returned, he was the victim of a landmine. It was not his plan to leave this beautiful earth under such horrific circumstances; he didn't wake up one day in the late 1960's and think that would be the end to his time here and the beginning of his time elsewhere. However, it's what happened, and nothing changes that. My dad never got over the pain of losing his brother and was never able to holistically shake the effects of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Syndrome (PTSD).

What's the point of sharing that story with you? Well, it seems necessary that we come to the realization that life is not the place where we can predict with surgical precision every facet of what will unfold. No one wants to die; unless they truly don't understand the beautiful simplicity of life itself. The raw and unadulterated splendor of life is found in the lack of knowledge about the future; not the foreknowledge to assimilate a plan for every potential outcome. If one is going to be an extremist, a control freak, they will surely bypass all the meaningful experiences that occur in the plan as ya' go lifestyle that we all get thrown into occasionally; not habitually, but occasionally.

I guess as I sit here and write this I most assuredly am not telling you to live life casually and just enjoy it along the way. However, I am most certainly saying to enjoy it. My struggle has always to live life in a perpetual balance between planned and flexible; finding a way to fit all of life's curve-balls and splitters into one methodology. My honest hope is that by reading this you would understand we have been given such a great gift, "dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today..." (James Dean, quote). Appreciate with dire anticipation the splendor of life and participate with joy in all its occurrences; not just the ones you predicted.