swallowing failure. vomiting success.

Ask the seasoned and soft spoken man sitting on the porch of the cafe downtown middle America, he'll tell you as quick as the next, "Failure is just a part of a life." We've heard them all, the quote about success, the quotes about failure, and the vast-multiplicity of proverbs therein. Perhaps I'm not the only person who grows groggy of hearing the same old sappy sayings. I firmly believe, and preach daily, that failure is indeed an intricate part of long-term success. However, I know very few people who can battle failure in it's deepest depths and speak kindly of it before attaining the prize worthy highest heights.

I've tasted the bitter-taste of failure in these past few months, and been slapped-abruptly by the harsh reality that, 'hard work doesn't necessarily equal success.' I've poured my heart and soul into something that didn't have the once anticipated result; leaving me feeling mightily-experienced in failure. Not failure as if it I didn't learn, but failure in the sense of not accomplishing the full-potential of what was at hand. It can be blamed on a hundred thousand various people and obstacles and statistics but at the end of the day theirs always that brash lingering feeling that you could have, or should have, 'done more.'

It was my first true endeavor into the bitter-cold and cutthroat business world in which I've desired so intensely to be part of. I assumed that failure would be the end all turnoff for me and my once fetish-like love for that lifestyle and all the challenges therein. I was dead wrong. It only ignited within my heart, my mind, and my physical body a passionate pursuit of achieving a level of substantial success in a field once thought to be out of my element.

I know that I don't have the upbringing of many successful individuals in my line of work. I don't come from a well-to-do family or a prestigious university, most the lessons I've learned in life I've learned face down in a pool of sweat and/or tears. I haven't mapped out on a chalkboard the route my life will take, I've done more chewing on chalk than drawing with it. I'm not a powerful planner; or an overtly-good organizer. I lack many things that make people blossom in the dry & weary plateau of the American business economy in the 21st century. Although, I do know fully in my heart and partially in my mind, that the gifts God has given me are sufficient.

I won't find success because of looks. I won't stumble into millions by brainstakingly (new word) fighting my way through meetings with my imposing logical ability or crafty linguistics. I think when I find success it'll be where I least expected it, making me chose "it"over the temporary gratification of short cuts and bypasses. Get rich schemes are a dime a dozen; as are those who pursuit them. I want to fight for something wholeheartedly and delve into the unknown abyss of uncertainty and find within it what I'm truly made of.

I've been blessed with a second chance, a rebirth so to speak, yet another opportunity to give myself over entirely to something bigger than myself. Deep within I find a desire to still fight, as vigorously-defeated as I may appear, as downtrodden as I may be, their is still some fight left in this dog. I want to be able to look back in five or ten years and see someone so holistically transformed and different that it makes me appreciate the sacrifices that were made along the way; however grandiose they may be.

Success in business requires training and discipline and hard work. But if you're not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were.”
--David Rockefeller