Sincere-Simplicity

I've made some valiant steps as of late to begin down-sizing my life. A multiplicity of endeavors I've gone on in finding out how to "decrease so He can increase". My inability to minimize the indulgences and strengthen the necessities has cost me plentiful both spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. In such a multitude of ways my life has become one of instant gratification with no true-and-genuine concept of the importance of longterm satisfaction.

Growing up with just the bare-necessities as the son of a 9-5 hard working Nam' Vet father one would think I understand what its like to 'have' and to 'have-not'. However, during my upbringing I watched my father work two full-time jobs for over 15 years and he did so without complaining or bickering. He had this incredible sense of pride in work; he understood the true value of labor.

I've worked since I was 16 years old. It wasn't really an option after my father died my sophomore year in high-school. It wasn't as if I went out and decided to get a job so I could afford to get some nice shoes or go to a concert; I was working to eat. My ridiculously low paychecks from Safeway went to Hamburger Helper without meat (without helper) and Kool-Aid (without sugar). The Helper and the Aid did little to 'help' or 'aid' me in my times of stomach crunching hunger or downright despair.

In that time of absolute drought in my life, mentally and financially I learned what it took to get by. Instead of having an attitude of 'thrive' I carried an understanding of how to 'survive'. In place of the Spirit of Excellence that my father bestowed so richly unto me as a child I accepted a Spirit of Mediocrity. The thought of actually getting ahead financially was in dire-contradiction to my firm belief in 'sustainment'.

As I moved away from living in a house where we just had enough, I moved into a place where I had too-much. Living at a place where food was everywhere and all the time was both exciting and daunting. I wasn't prepared to make the transition from 'enough' to 'too-much.'

For the last four years of my life I've lived as if I have 'too-much' yet never truly understood the sin therein. The concept of gluttony, over indulging, is not merely a physical tangible act but is very much so a state-of-being. For so long I've failed to plan ahead. For years I've failed to really appreciate anything beautiful or abundant thats come my way. Dwelling in mediocrity has fitted me like Cinderella's slipper; so never has there been desire to remove myself from such an immensely-high level of comfortability.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how to decrease. I've been vigorously attempting to simplify my life. I've been fighting for the ability to shed off some layers of abundance and begin to truly-appreciate what is needed. Paul talks about this idea in Philippians 4 when he says, "I have learned to be content in much and in little..." The ability the apostle Paul had to find joy in both a plethora, and the lack thereof has stood as a testimony of the importance of dying to self.

Apparently, even though the world and the church has told me for years and years that all this life is about is 'living'. I feel that Christ himself is telling me otherwise. I'm beginning to believe that living within the internal centrality of Christ is more about dying than living. It's more about
the holistic-abandonment of all we think and know and giving ourselves fully-over to Him and all that encompasses; which is an unfathomable amount.

I wonder how significant the differentiation would be in Christianity today if we taught this Gospel as often or more often than the Gospel of Life. The wavering and t tarrying from the necessity of redemption and the unconditional need for repentance has produced a weak and watered down Gospel of Self. This is why soul searching and self-help is the primary methodology that people lock onto instead retreat, surrender, and sacrifice which in full-actuality will lead you to the truth: Jesus died for us, not so that we could dwell in our own sickness but so that we would have a measure of escape into healing that is only found in Him and His blood.



A quote I heard a while back that sums up a life of dying and living...

"If the Lord makes your cup sweet,
than drink it with grace.
If the Lord makes your cup bitter,
than drink it in communion with Him."

I hope my scattered and ill-structured bucket of words has somehow been an encouragement to you...