Radical Recline

this is where i'm at.

i just realized upon waking up this morning that i've somehow managed to overcome the most intense opposition this year, and i'm still here.
i faced an injury that not only plagued me with incredible physical pain but also stuck a dagger into my ability to do normal 'guy' stuff.
i had a GPA lower than my blood alcohol level that nearly cost me my leadership positions
i bounced my first check in three years and now they won't even take my cash
i found out which was more powerful: 10 vicadin, or 10 perkaset,
i experienced what real rejection tasted like, and hated it.
i experienced what real love tasted like, and loved it.
i found my true self amidst all this.
it's never as bad as it seems,
believe me.

i grew in some areas that i never thought i would. i learned some hard lessons i wish i'd never had to. i felt some emotions i never knew existed. all the while i still saw the beauty in God, the grace in Christ, and the freedom in being myself. despite my inadequacies i know i'm true-to-myself, i am exactly what i was meant to be. free.

i found passion in the simple and veered clear of complexity. i searched for

truth in all the wrong places. i found love in all the right places. i noticed the small things

and ignored the big ones. i paid my taxes cause' i had to. i called my mom because i wanted to.

i played my guitar until my fingers bled. i listened to friends sing until my ears bled.

i bought more coffee then i needed to. i spent more money then i should have. i don't

regret it one bit. my checkbook does though.

i failed tests and aced papers. i aced socially and failed emotionally. i caught a cold. i lost an iPod. i gave some money. i found some change. i trimmed off some pounds. i put some back on. i think most of them are still gone. i got a flat tire. its still flat. i bought a flannel shirt. i wear it often. it's flannel, why wouldn't i wear it often?

This School Year

I went to camp Niko. I was a total freak-o.

I eat crackers and soup and whined the whole time.

i was hungry and cranky so far from sublime.

I jogged I ran I sprinted and strained.

I slaughtered something and to my stomach I gained.

I was vice president and i served faithfully,

those around campus treated me reverently.

i laughed on the outside and cried in the inner,

i was loved by others but my heart it quivered,

a lack of stability caused my emotions to be shaken,

more time in prayer i should have taken.

No regrets though when looking back at this all,

I was diligent in my duties winter, spring, and fall.

I tried vigorously to please those in the majority,

but in the end was a spokesperson for the minority.

I knew where i was going but was lost all the time,

thanks to my friends i still have my mind.

As this season of my life wraps up is gone,

i know now i have power to push forward and move on.

when the call comes next to step up and to serve,

i have confidence in my ability to stand up and be heard.

a quiet voice amongst the loud may be overtaken,

but a heart to love will never be mistaken.

ah. that was fun. if this bored you, good. if this didn't bore you, great. if you don't care, then either do i.

blessings.